


Hold the Cheshire, Please

by Isileil



Category: Alice (2009)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 05:44:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4907647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isileil/pseuds/Isileil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short little glances into the lives of Alice and Hatter post-series.<br/>(Originally posted on FF.N: Dec 21, 2009)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hold the Cheshire, Please

“You want a what?” Hatter stared at her incredulously.

Alice could only smile back. She'd seen that look from him a few times before, namely when they were in Wonderland and she was about to do something incredibly stupid. “A cat. A kitten.” She cupped her hands, already imagining a soft little ball of fur asleep there. He was just being Hatter, she thought, overly dramatic. Getting a kitten and trying to break into the Hearts Casino were not the same thing.

“You've gone loony,” his stance went from incredulous to anxious. His poor Alice had finally cracked. “Why? Why would you want something like... like that?”

Alice just sighed. “I love cats, I always have. But the apartment that Mom and I had didn't allow pets. That's why I wanted this place so much, I've missed having a little kitty around.”

“This whole world in bonkers!” Hatter was really getting agitated now and Alice was trying not to let it get her worried. “No way. There's no way that I'm sharing a home with those evil creatures!”

“It's not such a big deal.” Alice could compromise, she was an adult. “What about a puppy?”

That got Hatter's attention very quickly. “You kiddin? You've got dogs here? I've only ever heard of them in stories.”

Alice couldn't help but smile again. When Hatter was surprised his eyebrows had a habit of disappearing up into his hat. “Maybe we should take a step back.” Alice took a seat on their couch and gave the cushion next to her a little pat. “When you think of cats and dogs, what exactly goes through your mind?”

Hatter grinned, well that was always a dangerous question; what goes through his mind. But he could be good, just this once. For Alice. “Dogs were the loyal companions of the knights," he recited as if from a history book. "Very intelligent, but not very good at self preservation. There hasn't been a dog sighted in Wonderland since the knights were wiped out.”

Alice nodded. “Okay, and what about your aversion to cats?”

Hatter gave a little shiver. “Nasty little things. Live out in the Tulgey Woods. They're creatures of dreams and nightmares, the lot of 'em. Feedin' off of peoples fears. And I don't want any of 'em getting anywhere near you, do you understand?”

He was so serious, Alice could only nod. She thought back to her little nap in the forest on her way to meet Mad March. Maybe the dream she'd had back then was a bit more than what it had seemed to be at the time. She wasn't about to mention it to Hatter though, that would be counter productive.

“Good.” He nodded too, just for good measure. “Now that that's settled, how about a cup a tea.”

He made to stand and Alice pulled him back down onto the couch. “We're not 'settled' yet. Cats and dogs Here aren't like they are in Wonderland. Why don't we at least go look at a shelter. Please?”

She was looking up at him with such a pleading expression, all he could do was agree. In all honesty, he'd give her anything that she wanted. So long as it wouldn't hurt her, Hatter felt very strongly about that last part. Figures his Alice would want a cat, next she'd be asking for a jabberwock. He could only sigh in exasperation and nod.

“Fine, we'll look. But the first time one of those 'cats' grins at me, we're leaving.”

Alice didn't say anything. She popped off the couch with a smile on her face quite similar to the one he was just ranting about. She was pulling him out the door before he could properly get his coat on.

Three hours, one shelter, and two kittens later had Alice and Hatter back in their apartment with everything one would need for a litter of kittens. And it had to be two kittens because Hatter couldn't bear to break up a “matching set” and Alice still hasn't completely learned how to counter his logic just yet.

She was currently leaning against the wall in the hallway, watching him with the kittens. He was sitting on the floor letting them climb him like a mountain and she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. Every now and then one of their needle sharp little claws would catch him and he'd give a little yelp.

“Alice.” Hatter called without looking up at her. She made a noise of acknowledgement and he looked to her then. She couldn't help but compare him to a little boy when he grinned. “When can we get a pup?”

Her smile grew to match his and she let loose a laugh. “We're going to need a bigger house.”


	2. It Takes All Kinds

“Alice!” The panic in Hatter's voice had the hair on the back of Alice's neck standing on end.

“What! What is it?”

She came barreling into their bedroom to find a most distraught Hatter staring accusingly at her from his seat in front of the computer.

“You went out drinking with that 'ol' schoolmate' of yours again, didn' you?”

Still recovering from her moment of panic, it took a minute for Alice to understand the question. “Abby? We had lunch the other day... why?”

Hatter just continued to glare. “No, no. Not her. The one that started all the trouble the last time you two got together.”

Alice was silent for a moment in thought. “... Nick?”

“That's the one!” He shouted in triumph.

“Hatter, it's been a year, maybe two, since he's even been in town.”

“And good riddance! He's caused me nothin' but trouble with every visit.”

Alice had the good graces to look guilty. “It was just that one time... and nobody believes that it actually happened...”

Hatter puffed up in indignation. “I had to sit and listen to Jack rake me over the coals for two hours Alice, two hours. Do you know how hard it was to just sit there and try to be serious while 'his majesty' went on and on about 'the scandal'?” He rolled his eyes at the memory. “And I couldn't even defend myself, 'cause of course I'd taken you to the O.Z. when you'd asked, even though that's severely frowned upon at the momen'. And of course we'd hear a thing or two about what had been happening 'round there lately. But I didn't think you'd go off and blab it all to the first person you'd come across that'd listen.” He was really getting upset by this point.

Alice wasn't too far behind him. “Listen here, you ass. It was your idea to take a vacation in the first place, and I didn't even know about the 'O.Z.',” here she used air quotes, “until you mentioned wanting to go there, so don't try to pin all the blame on me. And I didn't go 'blab to the first person.' I've known Nick for a very long time... how was I supposed to know that he'd want make a movie out of it.” The last was said a little abashedly. “But that was awhile ago, and you weren't this upset about it before... what's this really about?”

He was pouting now and moved so that she could sit at the computer and see what he'd found. There, in bright colors was a site dedicated not to Alice in Wonderland, but to her and Hatter. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, 'oh'.”

“Looks like Nick made another movie. Good for him,” she said, trying to hide her laugh.

“Good for... are you mad, woman?” Hatter's left eye was starting to twitch. “I'm not takin', the fall for this one.” It was said very seriously, but he knew he was lying. He'd do anything to protect his little oyster. Even sit through another of Jack's lectures to spare her the horror of the king's pompous speeches.

“It's not so bad. There are a lot of Wonderland movies coming out right now... no one's gonna think any more about this than the others.”

“I'm not upset about that,” he waved her back and navigated to a more specific spot on the site. “I'm upset about this.”

She leaned forward again to get a closer look. At first glance it looked like a simple story about Hatter's adventures before they'd met, but as she read on her eye brows started to rise.

“An' there's loads of 'em just like this one.”

“Wow... I... I had no idea,” she said with a hint of mischief.

Hatter looked well and truly upset. “Don't say that. It was never like that! I can't believe... this is... this is just... wrong!”

Alice had to laugh. “Didn't you read the part at the top? Where it says 'pairing'? They did try to warn you. How did you even find this anyway?”

“Alice, you're loosing sight of the point here. Somewhere out there, there are people that think that March and I... that we... we were...” A shiver ran through him. “Eww.”

Alice had to laugh. Poor Hatter had stumbled onto fanfiction, and it truly takes all kinds.

He looked to her for help. “How do I get rid of it?”

“You don't. You can't. It's freedom of speech, or freedom of the press, or something like that. People can write whatever they want.”

“But it's completely untrue! It's slanderous even.” He began to pout once more.

Alice stood and put her arms around him. “My poor, poor Hatter. Just think of it this way. No matter what anyone thinks or what anyone writes, it doesn't change who you are and the fact that we're together.”

He gave a heavy sigh. “Fine, fine. But no more drinks with Nick unsupervised, yeah? Else he and I are gonna have ta have a li'l chat.” He gave her a small smile and returned the embrace. “What would I do without you?”

Alice gave a little burst of laughter. “Spend all of your time and money hunting down the authors to those stories.”


End file.
